Saturday, February 11, 2012

it is time

what time is it? time to tell my backstory. time to tell how i became...dun dun dun...whitelight!

i was born in pennsylvania, in the western part of the city of philadelphia. oh, philadelphia, how i hated thee. such  horridness, such mocking at school, and at the playground. it was when i was but a child, when i was just trying to do as children do and relax and play a round of basketball, when i was beset upon by a couple of thugs, who were certainly up to no good. we got into a tussle and, i am not proud to say, i lost that battle. my mother, fearing for my continued safety, insisted on sending me to my aunt and uncle.

my aunt and uncle turned out, of course, to be cultists that tried to sacrifice me to their slender god.

and that was just the beginning of how my life was flipped and turned upside-down.

17 comments:

  1. old meme is fucking old. this wasnt funny. warm me up please.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. djay32, i hereby dub thee...//Insufferable Prick//.

      and what meme? i was simply telling my backstory, you prick.

      Delete
    2. There we go. That made me smile.

      Sorry. I think a little boy is affecting my emotions tonight. A little cold boy.

      Delete
  2. In west Philadelphia you were born and raised, you say? On the playground was where you spent most of your days, is that true? Hehehehehe...

    ReplyDelete
  3. I'm sorry, whitelight: I deceived you. I am not truly a light.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. that's okay, bluecanaryinthelightswitchlightthatsnotreallyalightlight.

      i, whitelight, dub thee...//Lying Liar That Lies//.

      Delete
  4. Ridley already used the Bel-Air meme, and he did it better.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. damn, i didn't know i would get backstory-jacked by //The Real Slim Shady//.

      oh well. i, whitelight, dub thee...//Killjoy//. because you are.

      Delete
  5. That's right Crackerlight, stand in awe of the power of Uncle Riddles, the sexiest and realest //The Real Slim Shady// that ever there was walking the earth. You been right punked kid, just lay it all down and get out the hood, bitch.

    Stay frosty.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. that's, i, whitelight, challenge you to...a rap-off.

      rapping's the one with the rhymes, right?

      Delete
    2. Nah, rapping's the one with the paper and the birthday presents.
      Methinks you forgot mine anyway. I am disappoint.

      Delete
    3. Damn straight with the gifts on the birthday shit, dawg. Mine's comin' up an' shit too, you better not forget that shit punk, you wanna stay in the Big Man's good graces. He don't want no trouble in the Hood, y'know, likes to keep His shit on the downlow, don't be blowin' that shit dawg, you don't stand a chance.

      Hell naw!

      Stay frosty.

      Delete
  6. you all sicken me.

    Rapping.

    You're a WHITELIGHT my brother...or is it sister....cousin? father? mother?...............................soulmate?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am your father's brother's nephew's cousin's former roommate.

      Delete
  7. Whath Thangoman thaid. Altho I hath a new T-thirt! It hath a pony on ith... it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ponies. you disgust me. how dare you like ponies. you are a grown light, goddammit. you shouldn't like ponies. you should like real manly...lighty things, like...monster trucks or...stuff.

      ...which pony was it? it was rainbow dash, right? oh man, she's the best. no, wait, twilight sparkle is the best. crap. fluttershy is awesome, too; did you see what she did to that bear?

      ...what?

      Delete
    2. Yeah, it's settled. You guys are the greatest.

      Delete