oh, that's it. proxylight has gone too far. you know what he did? he left a flaming bag of poo on my doorstep. i guess i just have to counteract by telling you guys the truth. the whole truth.
it started the night my parents died. we had gone to see the mark of zorro and were walking down this darkened alleyway and
and
And screw it. I can't do this anymore. You know what I was going to do? I was going to retell the origin of Batman. That was the entire joke. Just: "Hey, I referenced Batman. Laugh now."
Well, fuck that shit. I'm tired of this whitelight schtick anyway. It's all a lie. You know that, of course. You've always known, but I guess it's amusing to pretend a parody is the real thing. It's a trick, a sham, a charade that ends in one of two ways: whitelight "dying" or going insane. That's how it all ends. That's how these things go.
So: the truth. The no-bullshit, honest-to-God truth of why I am doing this: I was bored. I was bored and online and I read this blog and I thought "Hey, I can make something funny out of this" and I did. And I got more followers in three days than I would ever get with any of my other blogs. But hey, I enjoyed doing it. I won't lie. It was fun.
But now it's just boring. What else can I do? Pretend to be proxylight? Post some more obscure and cryptic comments? You guys get enough of that in regular blogs. You don't need me to tell you that stuff is overused. So I guess it's time for me to retire whitelight, to end his sorry existence.
C'mere whitelight, I have to smother you with this pillow.
iaiodfhdsf
dhf ;SDh 'fSDf
lkasdjf ;sdkgj h"PSDf j
idsf :SDIjf j
what
what's happening
what are you doing?
why are you doing this to me?
stop please stop you're hurting me
i'm real please stop i'm real i'm me i'm real
im real im real im real im real im real
why are you doing this?
help me
just kidding!
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Monday, February 13, 2012
H4XX0R3D
HA HA. I HACKED WHITELIGHT'S ACCOUNT GUYS. IT WAS RIDICULOUSLY EASY. I MEAN, DO YOU KNOW WHAT HIS PASSWORD WAS? DO YOU? IT WAS 12345. I GUESS HE SHARES THE SAME PASSWORD WITH PRESIDENT SKROOB AND THE SYRIAN PRESIDENT.
ANYWAY, YOU GUYS, I'M PROXYLIGHT. BASICALLY, I'M GOING TO PERIODICALLY HACK INTO WHITELIGHT'S ACCOUNT AND PROVIDE CRYPTIC BULLSHIT, OKAY? USUALLY IN CODED OR BINARY FORM. BECAUSE I AM A DICK.
SO HERE WE GO:
010010000100010100100000010100110100010101000101010100110010000001011001010011110101010100100000010101110100100001000101010011100010000001011001010011110101010100100111010100100100010100100000010100110100110001000101010001010101000001001001010011100100011100101110001000000100100001000101001000000101001101000101010001010101001100100000010110010100111101010101001000000101011101001000010001010100111000100000010110010100111101010101001000000101011101000001010010110100010100101110001000000100100001000101001000000100101101001110010011110101011101010011001000000101011101001000010001010100111000100000010110010100111101010101001001110101011001000101001000000100001001000101010001010100111000100000010000100100000101000100001000000100111101010010001000000100011101001111010011110100010000101100001000000100001001010101010101000010000001001000010001010010000001000100010011110100010101010011010011100010011101010100001000000101001001000101010000010100110001001100010110010010000001000011010000010101001001000101001000000100010101001001010101000100100001000101010100100010000001010111010000010101100100101100001000000100100001000101001001110101001100100000010001110100111101001001010011100100011100100000010101000100111100100000010001010101011001001001010100110100001101000101010100100100000101010100010001010010000001011001010011110101010100100000010011100100111100100000010011010100000101010100010101000100010101010010001000000101011101001000010000010101010000101110
THERE, THAT WASN'T SO BAD, WAS IT? PERHAPS NEXT TIME I'LL GO WITH ROT13.
BYE FOR NOW,
PROXYLIGHT
ANYWAY, YOU GUYS, I'M PROXYLIGHT. BASICALLY, I'M GOING TO PERIODICALLY HACK INTO WHITELIGHT'S ACCOUNT AND PROVIDE CRYPTIC BULLSHIT, OKAY? USUALLY IN CODED OR BINARY FORM. BECAUSE I AM A DICK.
SO HERE WE GO:
010010000100010100100000010100110100010101000101010100110010000001011001010011110101010100100000010101110100100001000101010011100010000001011001010011110101010100100111010100100100010100100000010100110100110001000101010001010101000001001001010011100100011100101110001000000100100001000101001000000101001101000101010001010101001100100000010110010100111101010101001000000101011101001000010001010100111000100000010110010100111101010101001000000101011101000001010010110100010100101110001000000100100001000101001000000100101101001110010011110101011101010011001000000101011101001000010001010100111000100000010110010100111101010101001001110101011001000101001000000100001001000101010001010100111000100000010000100100000101000100001000000100111101010010001000000100011101001111010011110100010000101100001000000100001001010101010101000010000001001000010001010010000001000100010011110100010101010011010011100010011101010100001000000101001001000101010000010100110001001100010110010010000001000011010000010101001001000101001000000100010101001001010101000100100001000101010100100010000001010111010000010101100100101100001000000100100001000101001001110101001100100000010001110100111101001001010011100100011100100000010101000100111100100000010001010101011001001001010100110100001101000101010100100100000101010100010001010010000001011001010011110101010100100000010011100100111100100000010011010100000101010100010101000100010101010010001000000101011101001000010000010101010000101110
THERE, THAT WASN'T SO BAD, WAS IT? PERHAPS NEXT TIME I'LL GO WITH ROT13.
BYE FOR NOW,
PROXYLIGHT
Saturday, February 11, 2012
it is time
what time is it? time to tell my backstory. time to tell how i became...dun dun dun...whitelight!
i was born in pennsylvania, in the western part of the city of philadelphia. oh, philadelphia, how i hated thee. such horridness, such mocking at school, and at the playground. it was when i was but a child, when i was just trying to do as children do and relax and play a round of basketball, when i was beset upon by a couple of thugs, who were certainly up to no good. we got into a tussle and, i am not proud to say, i lost that battle. my mother, fearing for my continued safety, insisted on sending me to my aunt and uncle.
my aunt and uncle turned out, of course, to be cultists that tried to sacrifice me to their slender god.
and that was just the beginning of how my life was flipped and turned upside-down.
i was born in pennsylvania, in the western part of the city of philadelphia. oh, philadelphia, how i hated thee. such horridness, such mocking at school, and at the playground. it was when i was but a child, when i was just trying to do as children do and relax and play a round of basketball, when i was beset upon by a couple of thugs, who were certainly up to no good. we got into a tussle and, i am not proud to say, i lost that battle. my mother, fearing for my continued safety, insisted on sending me to my aunt and uncle.
my aunt and uncle turned out, of course, to be cultists that tried to sacrifice me to their slender god.
and that was just the beginning of how my life was flipped and turned upside-down.
it has finally happened
after one day with my very own blog, one of my other arch-nemesis...nemeses...nemesi?...one of my other enemies has joined the blagosphere.
periwinklelight, you //Scoundrel//. i shall destroy you. you have tasted your last dorito. i hope it was zesty flavored, because i'm coming for you.
because zesty-flavored is the best.
whitelight out!
periwinklelight, you //Scoundrel//. i shall destroy you. you have tasted your last dorito. i hope it was zesty flavored, because i'm coming for you.
because zesty-flavored is the best.
whitelight out!
Friday, February 10, 2012
you can't handle the truth
seriously, you really can't handle it. because it's not a physical object, so you can't just like pick it up and handle it, like you would a baseball or an orange or some shit like that.
oh, right, on to other stuff:
bluelight is dead. i shouldn't be surprised, really, since he had it coming. being all, you know, blue.
but who killed him, i hear you ask. (okay, you probably didn't ask that, but i'm going to tell you anyway.) it was orangelight! gasp! my arch-nemesis, my foe, my...okay, i've never really met him, but still, i think he would make a great arch-nemesis now that bluelight is dead.
and what shall his //Bullshit Made-up Title// be? //Rapscallion//!
oh, right, on to other stuff:
bluelight is dead. i shouldn't be surprised, really, since he had it coming. being all, you know, blue.
but who killed him, i hear you ask. (okay, you probably didn't ask that, but i'm going to tell you anyway.) it was orangelight! gasp! my arch-nemesis, my foe, my...okay, i've never really met him, but still, i think he would make a great arch-nemesis now that bluelight is dead.
and what shall his //Bullshit Made-up Title// be? //Rapscallion//!
introductions
what is all this bullshit, you may ask. who am i?
i am whitelight. also called //Truthsayer//. i am the bestower of roles, also known as //Bullshit Made-up Titles//.
i am not, however, related to greenlight, redlight, yellowlight, blacklight, bluelight, or ultravioletlight (you can never see his comments, but he's there). i am totally better than those creeps.
because i tell the truth.
i shall be maintaining a list of all the //Bullshit Made-up Titles// i have bestowed. because y'all need a little truth.
so prepare for a truth enema.
i am whitelight. also called //Truthsayer//. i am the bestower of roles, also known as //Bullshit Made-up Titles//.
i am not, however, related to greenlight, redlight, yellowlight, blacklight, bluelight, or ultravioletlight (you can never see his comments, but he's there). i am totally better than those creeps.
because i tell the truth.
i shall be maintaining a list of all the //Bullshit Made-up Titles// i have bestowed. because y'all need a little truth.
so prepare for a truth enema.
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